All fall down

I am not sure why I abandoned lying as a strategy for interacting with my doctor. It's just like me to abandon something that works. I sat there and said what this like for me, he looked at my PFT's, my meds, and my history and said "yamsbladder".

Okay. That's not a quote. But that made about as much sense to me as what he did say.

I like to be prepared so I am what is known as a negative thinker. I know 800 ways that any given situation can go wrong. Sure, there are thousands of books and self help tv personalities with whiter than white teeth that say this is not an effective strategy. They're wrong. If I think of what can go wrong, I think of what I will do. I go in to the problem with a plan. I go in knowing that I can do it no matter which scenario plays out.

Except for when some joker yells "yamsbladder" in the middle of my carefully constructed scenario.

I thought the Doc and I would discuss and deliberate, sadly up my prednisone, maybe look at the sleeping issue. Instead he said that he has hitched all his horses to this cart and it is still barely going uphill. He wants me to be admitted to National Jewish Hospital in Denver for one to two weeks. Yamsbladder.

What? That wasn't even in my list of Horrible Things That Might Possibly Occur. How am I supposed to figure out what to do now? Wing it? And how in the name of thunder have I managed in 10 months to flunk out of respiration 101 so badly that I am being sent to the worlds most prominent short bus for bad breathers? National Jewish Hospital is the most prominent Asthma specialty facility in the world.

It's a very good hospital. For very sick people. It is stunning to think that is me. It is stunning to think that is me enough that I can get in on a priority admittance. It is stunning to think that people seriously think I am going to spend oceans of money to be annoyed by doctors in Denver. I hate Denver. I was there once for about 17 hours and that city and I developed a lasting hatred that precludes my seeking life saving medical attention in that town. Also I think high altitudes make me look fat. I may be wandering into to hysterical denial here.

But it's not my fault. I had a plan for everything except yamsbladder.