How to get beaten with a stick during YW

My nephew is cute. He is funny and confident and charming. He lives in the right neighborhood. His mother is adored and his dad is "somebody". This makes him a hottie in the eyes of all the girls his age. Unfortunately his age is 13. And 13 year old girls with crushes are vicious.

Last night, Coray and her cousin were at the YM/YW combined activity doing roadside clean-up. After the cleanup they made cocoa and roasted marshmallows. Good wholesome fun. Except that very special girl was there. Very special girl is special largely because at some point someone decided she should be. She was born with health problems and apparently, in some circles, this means that you get a free pass for life. Please don't tell Jimmy, I do not need him getting any ideas. So very special girl is just plain odd. She, of course, likes my cute nephew.

It would seem that on Very Special Girl's home planet, mating and courtship begin by poking people with sticks. So she kept poking cute nephew with a stick. Now cute nephew is not the worlds most chivalrous boy ( he's 13!) but he knows that he is not allowed to smack a girl. He asked her to stop. But apparently, her deep love for him compelled her to continue. He moved away. She pursued.

At this point Coray told Very Special Girl to cut it out and got between the poker and the pokee. She was already annoyed because Very Special Girl had been slapping her in the back of the head for the whole bus ride. Very Special Girl decided that her poking plan was a real winner and stuck with her original course of action. She poked Coray. Coray picked up a stick and poked her back. Coray turned to walk away. Very Special Girl poked Coray in the back. By this time cute nephew had been drafted by adults to help make the hot chocolate. He was calling very special girl and trying to lure her away. She would not be dissuaded even by the feigned interest of the boy of her dreams.

Adults milled around while Coray put her arms over her face to block a poking frenzy and Very Special Girl laughed. That was enough. Coray grabbed the stick and whacked Miss Special good and hard. It was not a poke. It was a full swinging blow to the offending arm with the offending stick. Very Special Girl quit laughing and began shreiking hysterically. Suddenly the adults in the area became very interested in sticks and people wielding them and Coray was taken aside and given a talking to. Turns out, we do not hit Very Special Girl with sticks because that would be unkind.

Coray came home and shared her tale of woe. You may be surprised to learn that as a rule, I actually oppose smacking people with sticks. I was conflicted. Her Daddy was not. His points in her defense were:
1. She was defending family
2. She asked that the poking stop and attempted to walk away
3. The poking did not stop.

And that is how it came to be that Coray beat a girl with a stick at YW and her aunt said she was so proud and her daddy said "good girl" and her momma said "of course you're not in trouble".

I expect I will be hearing from a very special mother today. She is a great woman and I adore her. But she has a different expectation of other peoples adjustment to her girls quirks than I do. I may need to find a stick.

Child Protective Services should be by shortly

A little more than three years ago, I gave birth to a tiny fragile baby boy. It was a struggle to keep him alive. After a month in the hospital, I brought him home and spent a year measuring food, adjusting oxygen and timing medicine. I ordered his diaper rash ointment from two states away. I read medical abstracts comparing supplemental infant formulas. I prayed a lot. I whole heartedly committed myself to doing whatever it took to keep this precious boy alive and well.

This morning, I let that same kid eat two hot dogs and some popcorn for breakfast. Sadly, I do not have ignorance as an excuse. I know that hot dogs are not food. They were only in the house because my husband had taken my big boy camping and they had leftovers. And yes, I am fully aware of the assorted components in hot dogs. I have no defense. He looked at me and said "Momma, I can have hot doggy" and I said yes. Twice. I threw in the popcorn in hopes of creating sufficient digestive urgency to flush out the hot dogs. What? That's gross? I just fed my kid two hot dogs for the love of pete. This is no time to get squeamish.

Now, my little guy is happily dancing through the living room, flushed with triumph at his nutritional coup. Or having a seizure brought on by an allergy to lips and tails. It's one of those. Quick question, do dances of joy cause foaming at the mouth?

Also, in the interest of full disclosure this kid is wearing a diaper (Do you want to use the potty? No thank you) and a shirt that hasn't fit for a year. He looks like an orphan. We have a tub and clothes that will fit and fresh fruits and nice nutritious oatmeal. I have access to all the tools to be a less sucky mom right this minute.

But he really likes that shirt. Maybe I will just train him and his four year old sister to yell "Mommy is sleeping" through the door when CPS comes to discuss my children's nutrition. The last thing I need is them judging me.